03/01/2004 - 04/01/2004
Steph's Cool Arse BLOG
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Ok I am about to make the scariest decision of my life... I am about to, I think... pull myself out of this subject. I'm scared to do it but I am positive that I have already failed this subject, I havn't been to one lecture this term and I need 100% attendance. Doesn't sound good does it. So I am really sorry Joh that I wasn't organised enough to continue this class, but next time I take it on I can gurantee you 100% attendance and 110% effort. Now I know my flaws i can fix them. I feel wierd about doing this, but why continue if I have already failed? So that's it I guess, I have made my mind up... here goes nothing
Monday, March 29, 2004
My date was pretty cool yesterday. He picked me up in the afternoon and we went for a ride on his motorbike (I know! So cool) and we went out to the river and just talked for hours. It was pretty cool, then we watched American Idol at his place. It was actually okay for a date, that's the kinda thing that I prefer to do on a date. I'm not much into dinners (not the first few dates anyway), I think it's too uncomfortable. Especially if you don't know them cos then you have akward silences cos you have nothing to talk about. I hate that. But I like to go for a ride, or go out with a bunch of friends or see a movie. Ideally for a date I'd love to go go-carting or to an amusement park, or to see the formula one or soemthing cool like that. That's fun stuff and then you get a bond between you.
Sunday, March 28, 2004
Last night (is it just me or do most of my blogs start of with that?) was pretty cool, me and WonderWoman went out to the Capital for a dance. I know the place isn't the best but I like it, the security gueards know us there and we have a lot of fun running a muck and dancing our booties off. Plus waking up this morning with a bod that feels so buff is also a bonus (PS I woke up alone so I was talking about my body.lol) I have a date tomorrow, like a proper date. Not just hooking up at a party or anything but an actual date with a time a date and a purpose. Pretty cool huh? I'm a little scared though, I think I have a phobia about things like that, dates and relationships and stuff. I have never been in a proper relationship or one that has lasted longer than 2months. I get bored too easily and lose my patience. I need a guy that will keep me on my toes, never know what to expect otherwise I run. I seriously am like the Runaway bride except I'm running away from even liking a guy too much which is even worse. Dramas dramas dramas
Saturday, March 27, 2004
I like to move it move it, I like to move it move it...
Damn I love to boogie, there is nothing like dancing when you got out, even if you look like the world's biggest dickhead. It's a great release, but I also love music so I love to shake my thang out there with the beat. It's awesome. Last night was pretty okay, I can't seem to drink much though, it's strange. I had to work again last night but I didn't mind so much, it makes everyone miss me more at the Tav when I am late, well tha's what I like to think so don't bust my bubble
Friday, March 26, 2004
Yay I'm going to Coffs Harbour next week (when Uni breaks up) for a holiday with my family, I know it sounds kinda dorky but I am really looking forward to it, I have a lot of fun with my family, especially when we are all on holiday with nothing to do. It's great, I will have a lot of great pictures for when I come back so look out for them
Thursday, March 25, 2004
I don't know about everyone else but I have a tendency to put myself in impossible situations. Situations where I know full well what the outcome will be, and that outcome isn't what I want it to be, yet I seem to be stuck in the situation, even though I know it would be in my benefit to get out of it. I seem to be attracted to the wrong stuff in life and I seem to have a great talent for setting myself up for failure. Yet I don't learn, ever. And I guess, well last night I realise that maybe that isn't such a bad thing. It is and it isn't. You see the problem is that from the pain of these "outcomes" I have a really hard time trusting others though now I'm thinking that it's not other people I don't trust... it's myself. I don't trust myself to be able to hold onto friends, I always think they will ditch me cos they don't like me and I don't trust myself to like a guy too much or get too attatched to him becuase I don't trust myself to be able to get over the pain afterwards.
But one thing that I have learnt about myself, something I learnt last night is that I am much stronger than I give myself credit for. I can handle anything the world throws at me, it just took a big slap in the face for me to realise that. So never think that you can't handle anything cos even if the human heart is weak, the gut is strong.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Hey dudes here's another blog from me. I'm starting ot have fun with all this html stuff, it's frustrating yet pretty interesting. No funny stories to tell you today cos my stomach is about to eat my inner organs and I really need to pee. So I better feed my stomach otherwise my whole body goes into shut down mode and I better pee because..... well I guess you understand why.